DRUNK! the first one
by Delar Eriath
Summary: Saitou and Sano face off in an all-out chug-fest! Rated PG-13 for liberal use of sake...


Sanosuke, Saito, Hiko, and Aoshi, with our guest star, sake...need I say more???  
By Delar Eriath Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Rurouni Kenshin, or any of its characters. These rights belong exclusively to Nobuhiro Watsuki. Warning: This contains spoilers from all arcs. This contains the use of alcohol. If you do not like Rurouni Kenshin...well, you probably won't like this story.  
  
Four men sit around a table, three of whom have their heads bowed as if in deep thought...  
  
Aoshi: Hmph. Disgraceful. A former Shinsengumi leader, gambling... at least when I lost the pride of my faithful Oniwaban to revenge, I lost it in style...  
  
Saito: True to form balancing a lit cigarette between his lips while conversing: Well, at least I'm not as pathetic as to side with the likes of Shishio, as some people we know, and though I might be gambling,... Glances at the ever-growing stack of coins to his left At least I'm winning.  
  
Sano: Hey, Seijuro Hiko, I didn't know that you were as bad at gambling as Kenshin is.  
  
Hiko: Well, that's my stupid apprentice...I taught him personally how to gamble, and he should have been able to at least pick something up from me Remembering when he had his friends over to gamble while Kenshin cooked and cleaned ...hey... just realizing that Sano insulted him, through his drunken haze you wanna make somethin' of it?!  
  
Sano: Whoa! Uuuuuh, think I'll pass...  
  
Saito: Hmph. Yes. The only reason that that egotistic, hardheaded moron would back down from a drunken brawl is that he knows that he'll get himself whooped, as dogs should be...  
  
Sano: Hey, what was that? You wanna settle our score here and now, punk?!?!  
  
Aoshi: Let me remind you that, though I have no problem with you two- Pointedly raises his eyebrows Gentleman-settling your score, might I remind you that you are the ones who are borrowing the Aoiya for a day, while Himura, Kamiya, Misao, Okina, that small swordsboy, the Oniwaban group, and that cold lady doctor are out, His eye acquires an unfamiliar mischievous glint And that I have to babysit you all for the day?  
  
Seijuro Hiko: Stop it, you two. Chugs his sake After all, it is easy to predict the outcome of the battle..  
  
Sano: Whaddya mean???!!!  
  
Hiko: Hmph, well, you certainly wouldn't win.  
  
Sano: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?  
  
Hiko: Number one, Saito was a leader of the Shinsengumi, number two, he has much more experience with life or death battles, and number three, he has better taste in clothing.  
  
Sano: ALRIGHT. THAT'S IT. YOU'VE PUSHED ME WAY TOO FAR, BUDDY. FUTAE NO KIWAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Throws a punch that is easily deflected by the muscular, though drunk, Hiko. Hiko then throws Sanosuke through the wall using...  
  
Hiko: THAT was the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu, Jujitsu. Never underestimate your opponent, rooster brain.  
  
Sano: In a daze of pain: What? The Hiten Mitsurugi Style has jujitsu?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Hiko: Of course! The masters of the Style, including my handsome and genius self, had considered the possibility that some of our stupid apprentices, of which my genius and handsome self never was, might lay down their sword and still need to eventually defend themselves, even if only for a couple of minutes...  
  
Sano: Dizzily lying on the ground, thinking to himself: Well, gee, the Style might be a fountain of youth for this guy and Kenshin, but it sure as hell ain't no fountain of youth for the unfortunate guys they try it out on...this ain't no picnic.  
  
Saito: Hah, dog, now you see how real life masters, like the Seijuro and I, can easily whip insolent amateurs....like yourself.  
  
Aoshi: Do not get this one too excited, Saito.  
  
Sano: Yeah! Don't underestimate the power of amateurs, Saito, like you did the last time. Flexes his right fist, indicating that the Futai no Kiwami is nothing to mess with...  
  
Aoshi: I was merely saying that an inexperienced one, such as himself, could become seriously injured... and though Himura does not mind your gambling, I am absolutely sure that he would not appreciate your wounding of the rooster head...  
  
Hiko: You people put too much faith in my stupid apprentice.  
  
Sano: Hey! What makes you think I'm the one who gets wounded?! And that guy's ego was big enough from the start, without you having to inflate it more!!!! And who're you callin' rooster head?!?!?!?  
  
Hiko: Wolves eat roosters.  
  
Sano: What is it today?! No one thinks I'll win a fight?! Well, I'll take you all on...  
  
Aoshi: This will hardly gain me the title of strongest.  
  
Hiko: Remember the jujitsu?  
  
Saito: This turned out to be a severe waste of time. Fine, I'll fight you.  
  
Saito and Sano take the fight outside at Aoshi' s request.  
  
Sano: Okay, Saito, you first. Pounding his fists together, he prepares himself for the challenge ahead.  
  
Saito: This is a waste of my cigarette... Throws half-finished cigarette onto the ground with a dramatic 'Hmph' and symbolic crushing of the cig.  
  
Together: GO!!  
  
Aoshi and Hiko: CHUG.CHUG.CHUG.CHUG.CHUG.CHUG.CHUG.CHUG!!!!!!!!  
  
Satio falls to the ground after about another two hours of chugging... Hiko and Aoshi are roused from their sleep and stare in astonishment at the unconscious Saito on the ground. Kenshin and the others arrive at the Aoiya, in time to see Saito's defeat... All look on in astonishment at the unusual sight...  
  
Kenshin: Sano, Aoshi, Master....what happened?  
  
Aoshi: Sagara and Saito chugged it out...and Sagara won...  
  
They both turn to Sano, who is swaying unsteadily on his feet.  
  
Sano: Battles are OK with me, but he should have never underestimated my iron constitution....ummmm, do you have a nearby lake around here? Sano goes and throws up somewhere...  
  
The End 


End file.
